Carolyn Bellof is a distinguished Certified Family Law Specialist in North Carolina, a title held by only around 250 attorneys in the state. With years of experience litigating complex family law cases in Mecklenburg, Union, Gaston, and Cabarrus Counties, Carolyn is well-versed in the nuances of divorce, separation, child custody, child support, and alienation of affection. She brings not only expertise but empathy to her practice, understanding firsthand the sense of loss and uncertainty her clients often face.
When her youngest child was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes at age 11, Carolyn’s life was profoundly impacted. This unexpected challenge gave her new insights into resilience and the importance of community support. She found strength and guidance through the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation (JDRF), whose support helped her and her daughter navigate this life change. Inspired by the empathy and encouragement she received, Carolyn is dedicated to providing the same to her clients, guiding them through their own life-altering transitions with compassion and understanding.
Carolyn joins us today to share her expertise on navigating family law with empathy and resilience.
Website: https://stallardbelloflaw.com/
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Interview Transcript
Peter
Welcome to the Family Law Formula podcast where we uncover the secrets of running a successful family law practice from those who have actually done it themselves, talking to real lawyers, real people who practice in the family law space. And I’m your host, Peter. And in each episode we’ll be diving deep into strategies and tips and insights that can transform your practice and help you grow. And today we’re joined by Karen Beloff from Stallard and Beloff in Charlotte, North Carolina, sharing some of her invaluable experience and expertise. She’s been practicing in the family loss space for over a decade now, and so I’m super excited to speak with you today, Carolyn. And I just know our guests that are going to watch this are going to learn and grow and hopefully take their family law practice to the next level. And what’s really interesting about Carolyn is you’re a certified family law specialist in North Carolina, which is a pretty unique distinction. Only about 250 attorneys have this. Can you jump in and start and tell us a little bit about your firm and your journey and a little bit about you?
Carolyn
Absolutely. Well, thank you so much for having me. It’s a pleasure to be here. Pleasure to talk with you. So I started in family law about 10 and a half years ago. I had been a stay-at-Home Mom raised my family, my kids were in middle school, decided to get back into the work field. A friend of mine had been practicing family law and she wanted to open her own firm. So it was the perfect timing that we went in together. And because she had been practicing family law, it was just an easy transition so she could see me the basics of that. So a lot of attorneys moved back from family law because it is really emotional having kids and having been married for a while, I could understand a lot of people’s perspectives when they came into the office. I really enjoyed that. I had been practicing for five years, mainly in family law and taking a lot of continuing education. I decided to sit for the specialist exam and went through the process. I had to get some recommendations from other attorneys, judges, and then sat for the test and that’s how I got my specialization.
Peter
That’s awesome. And only 250 people. So this is pretty unique for you. How has it helped your firm?
Carolyn
So I think just studying for the test gave me a lot of perspective on going through all the statutes and reading all the cases and just really delving into all of the different areas of family law. Things will ring a bell and I’m like, this is a good path to go down. I know where to go from that.
Peter
Yeah. You mentioned that family law is on the more emotional side of things, right? Absolutely. I can’t even imagine. I mean the depth of case types, people are going through this around the whole United States. Let’s talk about some of your most memorable cases. Was there a case that just like it was the moment where you were like, this is it, I want to do this, I want to help people highlight one for us.
Carolyn
So I don’t know that this case made me want to practice, but it made me understand how important people getting legal advice is. So I had a client, he was from Ghana and he had gotten a divorce and then what he thought was his ex-wife filed to have that divorce set aside. And so in North Carolina you have to be separated for a year before you can file for divorce. And so when he came in, he said that they had been separated and then the more I talked to him and I think just the cultural differences, they had been living in separate bedrooms, but they had not actually been living in separate addresses. And so eventually that case, and it had huge ramifications for him because after he thought he was divorced, he went and purchased a house. He had to go through equitable distribution and divide those assets up because they actually never were divorced. The separation date was different than what he had originally thought. So it just had a huge impact. When people come into the office, a lot of times people say, well, who’s going to know? We’re just going to agree that this is the date that we separated. I have to say, stop. Let’s think about this. It might work out for you, but just know on the back end you could 10 years down the road, your ex pass could come back and try to get that set aside. So maybe you should just wait the year.
Peter
Yeah, it speaks so much to the complexities that could be involved, whether there’s assets or businesses or in this case now I can see it probably helped shape how you approach every single case. And I’m sure there’s really good ones, right. But I’m sure there’s also been some obstacles. Talk to me about family law, obstacles and maybe some that your firm’s experienced and what did you do to overcome some of those?
Carolyn
Yeah, we take the client as they come to us and most people going through a divorce, this is the worst time in their life. Most people have never spoken to an attorney before. They’ve never needed an attorney before. They often come to us wanting us to be therapists. We are not therapists, but we offer advice what I think they should do and how they should approach things. So I have kind of two different clients. One comes and they have processed, they want this divorce, they want to move forward and they’re ready to move on. And they often have to struggle to understand why the opposing party isn’t there yet. And so we have to kind of back ’em up and say, this normal, you’ve got to give your spouse time to process this.
And then the more emotional one is the client who this has just been sprung upon them and they are not looking to move forward with the divorce. They didn’t want this. And so that’s definitely more emotional. It takes a little bit more handholding, a little bit more time being patient with them. A lot of times people just aren’t going to take our advice. Maybe they just can’t do what we’re asking ’em to do. And so I think as attorneys, as practitioners, we can give them the advice and we can try and help them, but we shouldn’t feel bad that not everybody’s going to accept our advice and we just need to do the best we can do, but it’s up to them to really move forward.
Peter
I think I may have caught a little bit of a differentiation factor there, like family law, it’s a competitive space. I looked at your website. We offer you personalized guidance and discreet support focusing on your unique challenges. That’s a bold statement right there out the front of your website. But it seems like that is the core of what you believe that you’re here to help them to a solution that’s best for them, that worked for you in terms of that brand for your firm.
Carolyn
When people come to us, they know this isn’t just a job. I put my heart, my soul into it. I get attached to my clients, attached to their children. How are their children doing? I think people can see that, and I think they know it. Making sure that if they send me an email or if they call, I get back to ’em within 24 hours, making sure that they’re heard. I have heard clients come to us after being with a different firm and they just feel lost, not heard, and that maybe a couple of weeks go by and they haven’t heard from their attorney and they don’t know where their case is going. So I think that’s really important to make sure that they know you’re there and you’re working on their case. Even if you’re busy with other cases, you just need to talk to them for a minute, send them an email and let ’em know we’re here and we’re working on it and it’s going to be okay. We’re going to go through this.
Peter
Yeah. Another line that’s on your website that I remember seeing was compassionate guideline Through life’s legal challenges, you have created that inside of the culture of your brand. How has that helped in terms of growth? You’ve been in this space for over a decade. What’s the trajectory of the growth look like for your firm from launching until now? And what are some of those tools that you put into place to take that vision to the next level?
Carolyn
So we have worked quite a bit on our website on that kind of marketing, but also I do a lot of networking. So I’m in a national association of women business owners, reaching out to just getting involved in the community and making sure that people know who I am and what I do. And it’s kind of staying the course, knowing that growth takes a while and it’s not going to be overnight. But the longer you stay here, the more you’re involved in the community, the more people, better cases that you’ve had and the clients that you’ve had that have been really happy with our work, they refer to other people. And so although it’s not this huge fast trajectory, it’s kind of slow steady growth. So my law partner and I don’t necessarily look to grow more than maybe a few more attorneys in the next few years. So keeping small, but making sure that the people that we serve are getting the best advice, the best value we can give them.
Peter
So two person law firm, maybe growth into a couple more. So I’m sure you have support staff that are helping you across the board. Could you put a number on that?
Carolyn
Yeah, so I think between 15 and 20 active litigated cases I can handle at any time, but actually cases that are in deep litigation, I think 15 to 20 is probably the most I could handle it still having weekends off and most evenings, unless there’s a trial coming
Peter
Up, that work-life balance is huge. And so that 15 to 20 has worked well for you and your law partner. So if we can back up, sounds like launch the firm, pick the name, pick the practice, pick the niche, launched your website, and slowly but surely over time have grown your website, marketing, networking relationships. If you’re a new law firm or a new family law firm or you’re trying to grow your firm, what are some tips that you’ve experienced to help other firms grow as well?
Carolyn
Yeah, so I think when you’re looking for groups to join, I think you need to join something that you’re passionate about. So for instance, I’m in the endurance sport community. And so just being involved, showing up in that space and just letting people know I’m also a family law attorney, but just having those natural relationships, those are the people that are going to come to you. It might not be the person that I’m friends with that comes to me, but maybe they have a family member or another friend that needs an attorney. And so those are often where I see people referring me. My daughter has type one diabetes, so I was involved in the JDRF community, now it’s breakthrough T 1D, but I’m in that space naturally and so very involved in it. And so those people that know me is just natural relationships. I think that’s the important part. Going to the networking events where everybody’s trying to sell each other things, I have not found to be very helpful. It’s really forming relationships. So if I were to advise a new attorney, I would say, what do you like to do? Go be involved in that stuff and let people know who you are form those friendships.
Peter
Yeah. I love how you guys focused on making sure your foundation was really strong, your brand, your messaging was strong, really embodied who you and your law partner are and how you wanted to approach your practice, but you didn’t stop there. You built relationships and you’re involved in everyday types of things. How much would you put weight on the website content, digital marketing, social media, all these other sources? How much weight did your firm put on that attributed towards your growth, at least from your perspective?
Carolyn
Yes, that’s important as well because that’s important to start. I did not have a huge background in the Charlotte area. I didn’t go to high school here, didn’t go to college here. So the amount of people that I knew was pretty limited. I think somebody who has grown up in the area might have more ability to get clients right away where I didn’t have that. And so I think the digital marketing is really important because you need enough clients to sustain you. We definitely have seen growth the longer the website’s been up, the more content we put on the website. We definitely have seen more phone calls, more clients come in from that, having people give referrals, let people know how they thought we did. I think that’s important to put on the website as well.
Peter
Yeah, we’ve got a percentage of our listeners who are contemplating starting a new firm and maybe want to get into the family loss space. And then we have a whole section of our audience that is people who have similar to you. What advice would you give to either one of those sets of people? As a family law attorney,
Carolyn
The thing that’s helped me the most is number one, my law partner and I talk a lot, so there’s a lot of bouncing ideas back and forth off of each other. And then outside the firm, I’ve got a lot of family law attorneys that I can call to say, Hey, I’ve got this going on. Have you ever dealt with this any advice you have? And they’ll call me and ask the same thing. And I think having other people to really sound ideas off of is really important. And also somebody that you can call that can understand, Hey, had a bad day. Maybe my case didn’t go how I thought it would go. The judge didn’t decide how I thought the judge might decide. I think it’s really important to have that network just to support you and to make sure that you’re doing okay.
Peter
Yeah, you guys have put so much into the foundation and then over a decade of investing in a multiplicity of different sources. So talk future with me for a second. For those family law firms out there that are maybe in a rut right now and they want to grow, what’s the next five years look like for you guys and what are you putting into place now or plan to put into place to achieve those goals?
Carolyn
Definitely keeping with the networking, keeping doing all the things I can do in the community, but there’s only so much time in the day. And so I think the website, the digital marketing is extremely important, putting money into that. And then our hope is that we can hire a few more attorneys. I’m hoping to teach some new attorneys how to litigate and maybe back out of the litigation myself or at least as much since that is a lot of the address points. But I’d like to see other attorneys learn how to do that and kind of take over that, or at least be a backup for me so that something comes up and I can’t be at a trial that I have somebody there that can take that over and just have a few more people to bounce more ideas off of maybe younger people to get newer ideas. I think the younger generation is going to have a little bit different thought on what family looks like. And so I think that’s
Peter
Important. So good. So good. I keep on coming back to this thought throughout the entirety of our conversation. Looking at your vision, your goals, I feel like a big part of your firm has been around this word trust. I just can’t shake the thought that building trust with potential clients, building trust within the networks that you’re in, building trust within you and your law partner. How did you build that trust? What did that practically look like for you? Because it sounds like it has been one of the top contributors to growth and success for your firm.
Carolyn
So some clients come in and they’ll just tell us everything.
And then there’s clients that come in and they only want to tell you bits and pieces. They’re afraid to open up, maybe they’ve never done it with anybody. And so just little by little letting them know, this is all confidential, it’s all for your benefit. We’re not judging you, but we need to know all the pieces. And so it takes time communicating that. I think communication is the big key, both with the client and then also anybody who has a partner. That is a huge trust. It’s like a marriage in itself. There’s good times and bad times, and we all make mistakes, but keeping that line of communication open between the two of us has helped as well. And understanding that we are different and we have different strengths and just trying to understand the other’s perspective.
Peter
So good. Whatever type of practice, or even if you’re a business owner listening to this, there’s so much great value to, I think what Carolyn just shared about how they’ve built trust. It’s not something that you just build wants, and it is a constant and continuous effort that you guys have made over the last decade and it’s a key ingredient for your growth moving forward. Anything that you want to share with our audience before we close?
Carolyn
Just keep open to growth, keep learning, read books on business, stay in touch with people, keep in the community.
Peter
Yeah, if I could title this podcast, it would be something very similar to what I saw on your website and within your brand, but how to offer personalized guidance to the unique challenges of family law, building that trust. But as you can see, Carolyn’s a networker, so make sure you find her on all of your channels. I’m sure she would be willing to help. You’ve been so helpful today, Carolyn. Thank you so much for taking some time out of your day and away from your firm for a little bit. But it’s been a joy to have you and we look forward to future conversations.
Carolyn
Thank you so much. It was a
Peter
Pleasure. Alright, y’all, enjoy the rest of your week and we look forward to seeing you on our next episode of the Family Law Formula podcast where we uncover the secrets of helping successful family law practices grow. Take care. We’ll talk to you guys soon.
Carolyn
Thank you.
